a year later

Exactly one year ago I graduated from college. 100 days before that I blogged about what lay ahead…I didn’t know(it’s actually my first blog here). I had no idea where I was going to be and what I was going to be doing after college came to an end. Well graduation came and went, and I still didn’t know any of it. I stayed in Boston for a day or two and then moved back to Connecticut to try and figure it out. Today I am sitting here still trying to figure it out. I’m beginning to think that nothing is ever going to be as easy as it once was.

Life used to be simple, regardless of how I felt at the time. Years ago life was so simple that I didn’t even have to pick out my clothes. When I was little mom did everything for me. She put my hair in rollers every day for over a year because I wanted curly hair like her. My outfit was picked out for me every day. My play dates were set up for me. The biggest decision that faced me was what snack I wanted after school. As I grew up I started becoming more responsible for some of my own decisions. I picked out my own outfits. I decided what sports I wanted to play.

Regardless of the decisions I made, life was relatively simple. Everything was laid out and the next stage in life was going to come as soon as it was due. I went from “My” Nursery School to Veterans Park to East Ridge to Ridgefield High without thinking about anything. I received penance, my First Holy Communion and Confirmation when the nuns decided it was going to happens. I got my license 120 days after I turned 16 because that’s when I was allowed to get it. Even when it was time for me to make the first real decision in life I knew that I was still going to move onto the next stage. Just over five years ago I needed to decide where to go to college. It took me four months to decide, but I knew that no matter what I was going to college. I always kept taking the next step in the path of life.

When I was three-years-old, I decided I wanted to be like my dad and become a lawyer. When I was eight-years-old, I decided I wanted to be a sports lawyer. When I started looking at colleges, I looked at good business schools with Economics majors. Why did I want to be an Econ major? Because when I started looking at schools I learned that Econ majors tend to score highest on the LSATs. I took AP Econ in high school because that would help if I wanted to major in it. I never took a single Econ class in college. I was 19-years-old when I realized I was on a path I had set out for myself when I was three-years-old and that I never once questioned where I was headed. I changed my major a couple times, got some internships and just kept going.

The other day I realized that I don’t know where I’m headed. I’m not the path I picked when I was three-years-old. I was on that path for so long, I don’t know what all my other options are. I know I’m on a path and I’m headed somewhere but I have no idea where that somewhere is.

465 days ago I hoped to land on my feet after being thrown out into the great big world. I can’t say I stuck the landing, but at least I seem to be holding my own for now. Looking back, it’s weird to see how much I’ve changed since then, but how much I’m still the same person. The last 100 days of college was crazy; so much happened in a short period of time and it flew by. The last 365 days, my first year in the “real world” have been crazy; so much has happened and it’s flown by. I wasn’t ready for the real world then and I’m still not ready for all of it even now that I’m there. I miss the comfort of knowing what lies ahead but I thrive for the unknown. I may not know what lies ahead or where I’m headed but I have figured out some things.

  • I thought I had 100 days to grow up. I have know realized it’s not necessary to grow up and change. It’s important to stay true to being young and having fun, otherwise, how are you going to make it through all the tough stuff that the real world has in store for each of us?
  • I thought I needed to be prepared for the real world. I’ve learned that no matter what, you will never be prepared for everything. But that’s what makes it fun. Every day there’s a new challenge ahead and something new to learn.
  • I thought that the real world would just kinda flow along as everything else always has. I could never be more wrong. I need to work for everything. All the little things in life and everything I always took for granted now mean a lot to me and I value what is truly important in life: time spent with friends and family and doing things you believe in.

So here’s to tomorrow, to learning new things, to overcoming challenges, to staying young while growing older, and here’s to the rest; it’s going to come whether I’m ready or not.

One comment

  1. Multifaceted · May 20, 2009

    >I looooved this post. I’m now looking forward to others. This was so inspiring and true, really what I needed. Thank you for taking the time.I heard this on the series Brave New Voices but don’t really know who wrote it. Maybe you’ll like it:”I’m looking for a new way and a new start, a new will and a new heart, a new voice and a new word, a new scene and a new herd, a new me and a new day. The same book but…a new page”Take much care!http://frustratedbloggirl.blogspot.com/


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